With the rate of abuses in relationships and marriages all over the world it’s very imperative we delve into this topic as a relationship blog. We want you to understand what abuse is all about and how to deal with it. Before we go ahead, always remember that abusers true to their nature tend to also abuse second chance,mercy, forgiveness, love and tolerance therefore no matter the goodness you show them they never appreciate it and would go on abusing you needless to say THEY ARE BETTER OFF ALONE!(even for their own good before they eventually become a murderer).
Who is an abusive partner??? An abusive partner is someone whom you are in a relationship with but maltreats you physically, emotionally,verbally or sexually and sometimes in the disguise of love.
REASONS WHY THEY CAN BECOME ABUSIVE
1.)Inadequacy: Sometimes when a person in a relationship/marriage feels like they are not good enough or don’t have enough they tend to become angry and inclined towards being abusive by melting their frustration on the people closer to them which in most cases are their partners. When you sense their inadequacy immediately try to make them understand that they may not have it all but they are not useless. Help them build theirself if they allow you.
2.)Dependency: when you depend totally on your partner to live “your” life,constantly searching for their approval(especially when you do this because you don’t believe in yourself nor count your opinion as worthy)and support financially abuse may become unavoidable. So be the best you can be and go into a relationship because of what is worthy that you can give and not just to get.
3.)Cheating: in some cases when a cheating partner is confronted for being a cheat(especially when they are married)they get unnecessarily defensive and aggressive in order to create fear within you and to stop you from questioning their bad behaviour. One more thing when you confront your partner for cheating don’t make it about who they are cheating with but rather their misconduct and lack of respect for your union or relationship because from our observation they are crazily protective of their concubines.
4.)Ego: when your partner is egocentric if you dare to challenge their ego in anyway they become so sensitive and over react. Avoid egocentric individuals as partners because they believe that YOU ARE TO WATCH THEM ACT!THEY LOVE THEIR EGO THAN ANYTHING ELSE.
5.)Background: Some people who come from a faulty background where throwing punches and object or even name callings are norms normally settle their disagreements with this same methodology. So getting into a relationship with them means welcome to our world of punches and name callings.
6.)Spirit of Anger: If there is anybody to avoid dating it’s an angry person. They get madly angry at anything and everything,the house is at risk with them they can literally turn it upside down,they can destroy anything and that includes you. If he/she isn’t willing to get help kindly leave them alone cause one thing is sure if you decide to stick with them your life will never remain the same!
7.)Insecurity: some people are just not comfortable with who you are they therefore feel insecure around you,try to break and mould you into a shadow of yourself which they think you should be and in turn gives them power they ordinarily do not have. If you must co-habitate or survive with them you must become smaller to fit into their boxes.
The way to deal with an abusive partner is to leave them alone,walk out of that hell you call a relationship. Rehabilitation is not even an option for some people cause they are not willing to change who they are for you. Where there is no will there is no way.
WHY YOU SHOULD LEAVE AN ABUSER
1.)Because you have the right to life and to be living and you also have the right to be yourself,to be who you are,to serve your purpose,to be loved genuinely and to be happy.
2.)Because they don’t love you:they don’t really know what love is so they can’t love you regardless of how many times they confess it and buy you gifts to compensate for the injuries.
3.)Because this retarded behaviour will reflect on your kids in many ways.
4.)They can’t stop and won’t stop because it’s an addiction.
5.)You are better off alone whether you love them or not.
6.)If you loose your self esteem you’ve lost it all.
7.)Because your life should be the opposite of what they are giving you unless if this is as a result of karma(winks*)
8.)An abuser who cannot admit that he is sick and needs to either check into the rehab or go for deliverance is not someone who deserves a companion.
9.)Because he doesn’t fight anyone else but you.
10.)He has no respect for women nor womanhood no matter how he rubs it to your face that he loves his mum.
11.)Somebody is out there who is willing to respect your right as a person,cherish and love you.
Take this,digest it and let it be your guide. Don’t assume you can change them abusers have brought down great men and women. Anyone can be abused but not everyone accepts to be abused. Do not accept it.