Domestic violence by men against their significant other, have been widely reported, so we wanna say a little something, well a significant one as regards the menace that has claimed a lot of lives.
First off, here are the misconceptions about DV against women:
Women are Mouthed: We can’t stress this enough, it’s rather bias than factual to think that a man solely hits his wife cause he was provoked by her cheesiness, her “mouthedness” and disrespectful behavior, this is faulty because a man cannot claim that he is also not a person susceptible to possessing an ANNOYING TRAIT. Every human being has their annoying side but, how people deal with us is what makes the difference. For instance, your wife has not been hitting your butt for your constant late nights, nor for keeping her in the dark, neither has your girlfriend been hitting you for always picking your side chick’s call right in front of her! Really, can any man claim he has never provoked his woman before? So, the only reason you get violent with her is because, you think you are a bully who can overpower and control a “weakling.” Therefore, cultivating self control is the key while also keeping in mind it’s a “no do” behavior.
Anything can lead to DV in a marriage other than an “excusable provocation” ranging from your insecurities as a man(which is mostly the case,) and a faulty family background e.t.c, so let’s not leverage on women being provoking cause, all humans actually have an annoying trait but the difference is our maturity and self control.
Calling Women Who Go Against DV as Feminist: Seriously though, why would you think preaching against domestic violence meted on women is a feministic trait? as far as we are concerned it’s an applaudable act of humanness to be against any sort of violence. Men who are quick to scream “feminists” are the misogynistic ones who think women must be treated less of their own gender, they are the ones who think that women are intellectually unequal to men so they are always the reason behind the violence against them!
How To Curb This Menace As A “Perpetrator” Of Domestic Violence.
Renew Your Mentality Of Women: If you are a man who practices this shameful act, the first way to let yourself off this shackles is to correct your “mentality of women” how? by erasing any of these two opinions.
Firstly, don’t think your “mother” is the only woman who deserves your respect because, you feel she isn’t your sexual tool, nor has she squandered your money but raised you, that is another pointer that you are one of the delusional men who think women are not humans to be appreciated, trusted and believed in, cause, all you opine of them is the fact that they are beautiful and sexy, nothing more. A lot of women have proven otherwise so, there’s no point thinking that way. She was created beautiful, that’s who she is and it doesn’t stop her from being intelligent nor does it make her look stupid same way your masculinity doesn’t make you a beast.
Secondly, you have to change your opinion of how you think that, you as a man is simply better than her no matter how many “feministic” opinions you come across. Seriously, “feminism” may be a turn off to anyone but, you have to realize that it is an awareness of the truth. All humans are equal before God, we are all judged by the same criteria before Him therefore you must accept that no gender is better than the other cause, all we do is complement each other. When you have problems with accepting the fact that women are just as important as you are as a man, you will always have a tendency of exhibiting this violence against them.
Build Your Character: it’s not always about your opinion of her, its also about your “personality” if you have anger and ego issues, do all that you can to regulate them instead, of being proud of yourself and screaming “that’s who I am, accept me” this world has a lot to do with the interaction that exists within it, so we must find a better way of approaching people.
Now, if you feel like your background has played a major role in setting you on the wrong path, all you gotta do is make a decision and stand by it, make a clear decision to not continue on that path and do all you can to achieve it. A word of hope for you, a lot of people have experienced things that could have been their death or failure warrant but, they chose to not let that kill them, their dreams nor the future they desire. It is your duty to rise above your past, do not let it determine your future.
What A Victim Must Know!
You don’t have to endure any man’s beating. Once they lift their hands against you stopping is another journey on its own. Choose your battles correctly.
After all has been said, we gotta say this to avoid being idealistic and bias. It might be bitter and disgusting to your ears but the truth is, there are women who are “control freaks” their way is the only way there is, for instance the behavior of a delusional wife who insists on reading the text messages sent by a ghost side chick on her husband’s phone else, she stabs herself, crazy right? but it happens, or, a scenario in which she can’t pass an information unless she raises her voice and employ the use of distasteful name calling on her husband, those are definitely provoking behaviors. Look into your habit, your composure, your “attitude” cause it matters. If you cant take it don’t dish it out, ask yourself “if someone else were me, would I tolerate them?” Your answer determines if you should be more of you or less of you!
Again, this article would be bias if we didn’t speak to the women who are indeed full of provoking behaviors. Your husband is also human, he isn’t a robot so accord him some humane respect. Do not create an unhealthy environment with the venoms in your tongue, or by your unkind gestures, hence, you are becoming “abusive” then the situation becomes a gabbage in gabbage out kinda situation. And to any man who has a “control freak” as a wife, run for your life, before she coerces you into jail or an early grave. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
If we must really overcome this menace everyone must accord each other some respect while acknowledging the fact that we are all humans afterall. Good men and women build their homes while the foolish ones bring it down!