Once or even twice in our lives, there was this person we dated and we were completely thrilled by their person. It may be their physique, romance, occupation and what have you that left a momentum on us. However, we can agree that we know they are not just good enough for us. Hence, the need for a separation, break up or divorce.
Ghost of past lover is a situation whereby, you begin to CHASE or LOOK OUT for all or most of the ATTRIBUTES possessed by a FORMER spouse, lover, or partner in the PRESENT lover.
It is a SUBCONSCIOUS OBSESSION on your Ex. Whereby, Exes measure up as the yardstick or criterion for a new date. Maybe, because you think you’d be missing out if it weren’t them.
The sad news is, you are going in cycles. So what do you expect? A replay of your HISTORY! Is your history that impressive? If not, then change direction. If you want a new result then change your strategy. Let your standard and values abide but not your past. Even if they were so great, it’s wrong to look out for your ex in a new person and lover.
When you say you are done with a relationship, be done and over with anything representing your past “DONE et DUSTED! Be ENTIRELY over them. Do not deceive yourself claiming you’ve moved on when everyone can obviously see this new choice of yours is a clone of the former. Do not watch out for their perfume, style, mannerism, profession, height, physique, or skill in your new lover. It’s a stupid waste of time and investment. Let the past remain in the past for your own good.
Take new people for who they are and see how far it goes. If you fail to do so, you’ll surely miss out on the beautiful things they’ll bring to you. You will not enjoy but struggle and endure, becoming resentful for no just reason. Do not chase shadows! It isn’t tangible.
Stop trying to prove to your ex or to yourself that you can get someone like him/her or someone better than them. Date anyone you are interested in GENUINELY. Not because they seem like your ex, or are better than them. Not for any other factor but, for the fact that you want to try love again.
Breath in fresh air, get to know NEW people for who they are, not new people with old characteristics of a bad lover. There’s no way such a relationship detailing the things of the past will birth out a new story.
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