OK! As e dey hot!
Being African has in some way been misconstrued to mean irrationality with the excuse of nursing and permitting such behaviours under the guise of culture. #RealTalk
So, let’s talk mistakes African men make in marriage using Nigerian men as a case study.
Your neighbors may be practising them, your father or your older brothers and the ones you really admire could be practising such behaviours, however, that doesn’t justify such conducts as good deeds and as such, they must stop with YOU, the man reading this article.
We still owe ourselves the responsibility of doing better. This is the time and this is our chance.
Undermentioned are the behaviours African men would be better without:
1. Disconnecting their wives from her own family:
This is by far, one of the worst and insensitive thing a man can do to a woman he married.
A husband is supposed to love, protect and care for his wife not disconnect her from the real world in place of being protective, nor stop her from working in place of being caring.
Marriage shouldn’t cut family ties. It’s asinine to think it does.
2. Disconnecting her from her child as a single mum:
Could it be that some do not grasp the idea of love?
Otherwise, why would a man feel the need to separate a single mum he is in a relationship with from her child? One of the reason why “hypocrisy” was necessary to be our #HotTopic last week. I mean, what then is love?
It’s sad! A man who loves would love and accept everything that comes with the woman he fell in love with. If you can’t do that, it’s best you do not look her way.
No single mother should tolerate this behaviour.
3. Stopping her from achieving her best:
God has given EVERYONE the capacity to achieve something and as well given everyone the grace to get to a certain height.
So, why would you stop your wife from going for her PhD if she desires?
Why is it wrong when she says “I want to start another business?”
Why is marriage so competitive in your opinion? Why can’t it be about helping each other, allowing each other to achieve their dreams whilst just LOVING. We are here to love isn’t that right? And not to hurt!
Do not find it palatable as an African man to stand in the way of your spouse’s goals and aspiration.
A lot of these men have broken up with women who they termed as “overambitious.” Their loss!
She wants to succeed let her succeed. It’s her call! Do not threaten her with a divorce or separation!
Marriage is an institution where SUPPORT must be given to each other and it isn’t the duty nor the reward of just a person but rather, both.
4. Polygamous in nature:
I laugh! Polygamous in nature or promiscuous in nature??? Excuse my French, I gotta call it what it is!
When love is what has brought you two together then, satisfaction and contentment inherently becomes your nature hence, crushing promiscuity!
No one is polygamous in nature but promiscuous by decision.
You owe your wife faithfulness.
Enough with making marriage seem like the modern day type of slavery.
Crush the dictatorship in your “African” mind replacing it with faith in your partner to do what she’s suppose to do. Have faith in her that she’s capable of doing the right thing. And respect her enough to let her make her own decisions.
Human feelings do not permit being cool with being pushed around.
Be courageous enough to look deep within and make adjustment wherever necessary.